Bastard school runs and mums....

I know I've not blogged for over a week but im finding it hard to sit down and actually write as I'm either hungover or changing shitty nappies....but when I've got a bee in my bonnet I'm good to go... Firstly I must excuse this harshness of this blog as one.... I'm a little bit tipsy ( it is Friday people) and two...there is no two?!! Anyway, here I rant, For the love of god I fucking hate the school run...I hate it with such a passion I debate giving the kids a day off school just so I don't have to do it...I hate the actual drive itself as the car is full of screams and slinging things at each other, there's arguments about what music to have and arguments about where here gonna sit..then you have parking on arrival at school..fuck off!!! There's never no where to park and to be honest by the time I do find a place it's miles from the school and I'm debabting staying in the car and calling a cab? I just dont know how these mums get there that early for these prime spots, they must leave there houses at 7.30? And the places they get are shit hot places, just outside the gates, the places that I would happily pay for? Not only do these type of mums get these VIP parking places but they also are well equipped, as in they all have umbrellas, there kids are all wrapped up with mittens and hats on, there carrying bags of donations of pens, tissues and old clothes for the school jumble and they have a spring in there step? These woman live for school, they read In the car before school, they bake shit hot cakes for the school fete and are always on the desk at school discos taking the money? I didn't even know there was a position for that sort of job as that's right up my street!! In one way I'm jealous, I'm jealous that someone can be that organised and into this school shit, and then in another breath I think you goody two shoes show off?? I'm a good mum, my kids are well dressed and fed, my house is tidy and we enjoy going out..but those banana bread mums have a knack of putting you to shame...take this morning for example, I had to go to school to watch my 8 year old Frankie do his poetry debut in assembly... I make my way there and plonked my arse on the seat and wait...now I like a bit of performance..and when Frankie eventually arrived to do his bit I was proud...but then the giggles set in and I found my self laughing very loudly at my own son, well not at him..but he had to do this poem where he had to run on the spot really fast and the other kids skipped round him... I don't know what set me off but I lost it..I tried looking round for moral support but they shook there heads in disgust... why didn't anyone else find this funny?? It fucking baffled me?? It was funny!?? My son was dancing on stage and people were skipping round him?!! It was funny?!! End!!! You see, these banana bread/mitten mothers are the sort of mums that don't laugh..they smirk, they spend there lives with scooters and helmets in there hands ( still can't get my head round a helmet for a scooter) and adjusting there snotty nose kids mittens that are attached to there jackets... Years ago when I moved to Hertfordshire our eldest son was placed in a school that I can only describe as hell...these women were the worse set of witches I had ever come across, they complained about sonny because he was a fast runner, they complained about sonny because his dad was a footballer and they didn't think it was fair that kids wanted to be his friend because of marc...this lot never fucking shut up, this one woman who reminded me of a man kept knocking my baseball hat off ( it was fashionable 10 years ago people) and although she was saying it was a joke she was pissing me off..so after about 2 weeks of grief with this banana bread witch I pulled her... And it kicked off..massively...and as a result I was expelled from the school, given a £500 fine and a criminal conviction for violent conduct? i never touched her, I just told her it was rude and she gave me such a verbal abuse about sonny and the way he was I was quite harsh with my words and it went off from there? The thing is you can't win with these banana bread women, they have connections in high places within the PTA and your never gonna win, i ended up taking sonny out of school and from that day i never mixed with those banana bread/mitten mothers again...it still gets my goat though and if your a mitten mother i take my hat off to you...good luck with your scooter and your snotty kids, good luck with your shitty banana bread and good luck with your smirk...i on the other hand shall always be late for school, I shall always be pissed midweek and I will always but my cakes from tesco for the school fete!!!! shall always with them?? I cant with me taking sonny out of school and having to find a different school, and fro. That day on I've never mixed with school mums of that brand...there dangerous..