Fat fanny gate.....

Today was the day I was seeing the man of my dreams...The man that was going to transform a simple nip and tuck and turn me into one of those Victoria Secret things that walk like they got piles.. 4.30 at MYA was my appointment time up in London and I ordered my cab ( can't do trains as I can't focus on anything other than rucksacks and I get myself all worked up and start breathing funny) and although this morning was a bastard morning with the car refusing to start and the girls unwell and clingy I was on a thin mission.. Nothing was gonna dampen me and my fat fanny/tummy nip...you see, I've got war wounds from the kids and I want them sorted, nothing wrong with that.. The 3 C-Section scars all to be nipped into one...thus creating a flatter tum.. I Jumped in the taxi and at Brixton received a phone call telling me he's running late and did I want to re-book whatever Trevor..I'm coming!!! So eventually 2 hours later I'm in his consultant room getting out everything and telling him my sorry sob story of how I've been butchered and how all I want is to have a flatter tum blah blah... He looked at me and snarled.. Squeezed what I can only describe as a fucking large handful of belly and told me I was fat?!! Followed by...do some sit ups...followed by do you even exercise? What a fucking liberty.... Of course I don't fucking excercise?! Does it look like I do? That's why I'm here? Just suck it and nip it and bobs your uncle...but no.... I've been sent away at 10stone 7 pounds and 5.10 to lose weight..do shit loads of stomach crunchy things and then to return 3 months time and he will do my scars.......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz So that's it? All that fucking research and fat fanny homework for nothing...my fanny is fat because I am fat...my belly is wobbly because I am wobbly?? It's not rocket science jadene?! It's obviously not registered yet as I've eaten a few biscuits with my cup of tea... But tomorrow I may well join a gym....or maybe not... I don't know yet...for now my surgery dream is over and I'm gonna polish off the rest of these biscuits and think about my next purpose in life... Oh yeah.. He also told me I had a hernia... Don't really know what that is but I need to get that removed ASAP... Marc is buzzing as it doesn't involve him parting with any money and he's danced out of here whistling... He's gone to watch the QPR game and he is desperate for them to win so he gets Chelsea in the next round... Marcs hate for Chelsea is so strong that when we first got married my brother was gonna buy the boys a Chelsea kit?! Marc squared up and said quite loudly that if those kits were put anywhere near those kids we was gonna divorce? And he meant it!!! I always said if marc ever cheated on me I would put a Chelsea tattoo on my arse.. I think he called me scum and walked out!!! He can't even joke about it... He hates them! Shit I've just this second received a text about going to a bootcamp in Marbella in March...that could work? A week in the sun..a few little tipples on the plane...a little run round the beach..do some sit ups by the buffet...I'm liking the sound of that miss Emily Ash...all paid for..? Why not?? That's got to be a fun way of getting a flatter tum? see...one door shuts and another one opens.... Look out Marbella... Jadene and her fat fanny crew are on there way!!!!!!!