Kids & holidays

Today we tried booking our family Hoilday...it's always a tough one as we got the 4 kids ranging from 15 months to 14 years, all needing different things, last year we went back to the Hoilday Village in Spain taking my mum and dad to help out....I say help out but theres only one child we need help with and that's the boss...Layla...Layla is a beautiful little 4 year old girl with long blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes...always dressed to perfection and got a cheeky answer for everything...she's also a spoilt little cow that demands the world and controls our house and has been known on many an occasion to reduce adults to tears as she is contant in your face telling you what to do and how to do it...On Hoilday last year my dad who is a typical London cabbie dad kept checking the back of her neck...when I asked what he was doing he said he was checking for the number 666?!... he couldnt believe that a girl ( 3 yrs at the time) could control a family of 8?! That hoilday was a real eye opener for them and on many an occasion my mum would look at me and just give me one of those smiles...like how the fuck do you do this? 4 kids on a Hoilday is mad, it's enjoyable when there all off playing with new friends or asleep, but when all awake..it's fucking horrific and I challenge anyone who says different.... Last year sonny our eldest got with what I can only describe as a northern blazing squad crew...it was a mixture of kids who thought they run the Hoilday village....they run round the corridors skidding on there knees, they played knock down ginger,shouted abuse at the reps and nicked chicken nuggets from the buffet...which I thought was hilarious as we were fucking all inclusive ? Behind the blazing squad crew was Frankie our 8 year old, attached to sonny but not allowed to walk with him...and frankies new mate zac a little 6 year old that had a desire to piss in lifts and swear at all the old couples asking them when they were gonna die?! So you can imagine how our Hoilday was coming along...we spent half the evening chasing the crew around the hotel giving them warnings, threats and curfews...you try and allow them space and allow them to be like the other kids, but you know your kids and one night they managed to pull down the biggest fucking plant pot you have seen, it was the size of marc?!! So we walked the walk of shame with Frankie to reception as the whole incident was on CCTV and people were complaining...at reception we was told the bill was over £400..... I think marc heaved at this point...and then marc lands on his feet yet again...the manager came out and was a millwall fan and he let us off? Top man. Hoildays are hard work, you need a Hoilday after a Hoilday with the kids, this year my mum and dad are coming again, not as eager as last year may I add, but there coming all the same, this year I'm not gonna bother with the diet before going away as last year I was surrounded with fellow fatties..and I mean proper fatties...you got your fatties, and then you got your fatty fatties and it was brilliant, as everyone is after the same thing..cakes at 4... You'd line up, all fatties together with your plate in hand waiting...waiting for those cakes.. And they were beautiful little bastards with all cream and jam in them... Bliss...my mouth used to water and on a few occasions I nearly came to blows as fellow fatties were taking the piss and piling there plates so fucking high they couldn't see where they were going...leaving us fatties at the back of the queue with less to choose from...was not happy!! But all in all, the Hoilday Village was a success , the kids loved it and we got to eat all day Long and play bingo...what more could you want? Apart from Layla to be an angel...sonny to stop thinking he's in a street crew and Frankie to stop swearing and breaking £400 pots...never gonna happen but you can only pray that this year is going to be calmer...I fucking doubt it but you can only pray....